A Comedy of Monsters

Welcome to the kingdom of Zadea, where the monsters are in charge, the humans are mostly snacks, and political diplomacy often involves poison, sarcasm, or murder—sometimes all three.

At the heart of it all lies Azwick, a sentient, brooding castle with a flair for sarcasm and an unlimited number of vases. As the reluctant host to King Einyuck (part ogre, part tyrant, all emotionally stunted), Azwick is stuck babysitting a royal court full of murderers, misfits, and magical morons.
There's the Bixler, the meat contractor that the king has bamboozled into warding his heretic son. Whose maturity will bring about a curse that will destroy the entire realm. He just happens to mature six months every day (Einyuck didn’t mention that), and Marbus, the Assistant Minister of Bureaucratic Mishaps, has weaponized incompetence into an art form.
When a time rift brought about by the heretic prince is about to wipe out the whole planet, Azwick might have a secret to share that could save them all. But who knows if he'll tell?
*Think* Monty Python meets *Game of Thrones* by way of an extremely haunted *This Old House*
If you like your fantasy dark, your monsters witty, and your castles judgmental, *A Comedy of Monsters* is your next favorite read. Just don’t drink the blood wine.